Ramadhan is coming

Alhumdulillah, we are again getting the opportunity to be blessed with the month of Ramadhan. I was thinking after listening to all the lectures and khutbahs,what was the one common thing in all of them . It is the ‘Changewe need to do within ourselves. The lessons from most of the Khutbahs were to write three things we need to change  and strive for it. Well I was questioning myself, “Will  I be able to do that change.” Every Ramadhan I decide to make some changes but I am still standing on the same verge. Why is that? Allah is just . He will accept our regret and repentance with open arms so why is that I’ m not getting the true essence of Ramadhan . I think I ‘m not sincere enough. May be  I didn’t cry to my Lord to the extent that it shakes His mercy. May be my heart was not pure enough to be showered by His blessings. May be I need to be more vigilant to gain his attention. May be i didnt try to reach the level of Ihsaan, excellence.  As it is  mentioned in the Hadith:

       “My Lord says, ‘If My slave comes nearer to me for a span, I go nearer    to him for a cubit; and if he comes nearer to Me for a cubit, I go nearer to him for the span of outstretched arms; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.’

I think I have  started my journey, I’ve started walking  but still waiting for the immense mercy but somehow still waiting. I guess Allah’s pleasure is not that cheap, it is not for granted. You have to really prove yourself. You have to show that your are sincere enough to overcome all the obstacles to gain His pleasure. You should be able to sacrifice all your desires  and  whims to submit to His will. May be that level of submission has not reached yet . As Quran described this stage as:

Chapter (2) sūrat l-baqarah (The Cow)

Sahih International: And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah. And if only they who have wronged would consider [that] when they see the punishment, [they will be certain] that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is severe in punishment.

But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah.

I  guess my Love of Allah has not superceded my love for creation . My love is not as pure as it  for other things. It didn’t reach to the level of sacrifice. I’ m way behind from the sacrifices of Sahabas and Khulfa e Rashideen when they didn’t care who comes under their sword whether father or son when it comes to the fight against  Islam. They didn’t care about the scorching heat, heavy stone placed on their chest, covered with iron material. It never bothered them to leave their loved ones and every penny behind , their every asset to save their Imaan. That is  ‘ashad hubbul lillah’.

           This is the first step we have to take. We are not there to take that first step of sacrifice. I don’t think so we can be close enough to bear those sacrifices but the desire to gain that love, to be among those who attained that level will some day ignite the fire, will some day earn His pleasure and make us bold enough to bear all the agonies and afflictions with ease and no regret so we can be among those mentioned in Surah Baqarah:

Chapter (2) sūrat l-baqarah (The Cow)

Sahih International: We said, “Go down from it, all of you. And when guidance comes to you from Me, whoever follows My guidance – there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve.

May this Ramadhan become the source of gaining His pleasure and made us as pure as He want us to be to deserve His pure love. (Ameen).

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